Litchick's Hit List

Honest book reviews. Also, snark.

67 of 260

Dead Sky Morning (Experiment in Terror) - Karina Halle

Perry's utter lack of self esteem is driving me bugfuck again. Especially when I read passages like the following and know it's all in her head. What's worse is that SHE seems to know it's all in her head and does nothing to fucking fix it.


"I knew I wasn't as bad as my ego wanted me to believe. When I called myself fat, I knew I wasn't actually fat anymore (though I definitely was back in the day), I just knew I was miles from perfect. And if I wasn't perfect, like Jenn, like these girls stripping, like the women on TV, then what was the point? I might as well give up."


"Honestly kiddo? You're beautiful. You use your weight as an excuse but you're just all woman. Not every woman has to look like a stripper. Or a model. Or Megan Fox. You're petite, have a tiny waist, a fantastic rack, a devastating ass...what the hell more do you want?"


Nothing like the "I'm so gorgeous but don't know it" theme to ruin an otherwise enjoyable book.



Way better than the first

Red Fox - Karina Halle

Sorry. I HAD to use that gif.

I read the first book in this series just a few days ago and had mixed feelings. There were some editing fails, weird turns of phrase, plot holes, and I had no idea how I felt about the MC or the male lead.

You know what’s awesome? Picking up the second book and finding that all the things you complained about have either been removed altogether or toned waaaaay down.

The biggest difference for me was Perry. I hate to say this, but when a story is told in first person perspective I have to get the character to enjoy the book. I don’t necessarily have to like them, but I have to understand them to some degree. I get Perry now. In fact, I even like her.

I think I’ve figured out what first annoyed me the most about her character; her complete and utter lack of self esteem. I understand having self esteem issues. I’m a woman, constantly bombarded by what I’m supposed to look like, how I’m supposed to behave, and so I understand self-doubt. What bothered the shit out of me was to have hers shoved in my face every other page. I get it, Jesus. In this book her issues are still there, but I think they’re more realistically portrayed. They come out in scenes where they’re relevant to what’s happening.

I also get Dex now. Trust me, I still can’t make heads or tails of the guy, but I understand his character and really enjoy reading about such a complex male lead. He and Perry’s interactions are entertaining as all get out. Poor girl. What goes through her mind in response to his mood swings and strange behavior are the same thoughts going through mine, and I can’t imagine having to deal with someone like him in real life.

And the story. Soooo good. I really enjoyed this one. It was less creepy for me than the first but as a whole, it made much more sense and was much more intricate.

Okay, enough chit-chat, on to the next!



The Purple

Ignite Me - Tahereh Mafi

Love triangles make me cry tears as salty as the ocean. They wash up on the shores of my cheeks and flow around the inverted palm tree of my nose, over the conch shell of my lips and off the cliff of my chin. I can hear them screaming like a thousand tiny fairies as they hurl themselves into the abyss.





In the beginning of this book the relationship drama was overpowering. It was like that guy that stands idly in the back of the band, banging a metallic stick against a metallic triangle, hoping that the dull chiming is heard by the audience. Except someone has put a microphone to it. And taken away the rest of the band. And turned the volume up to eleven. The chiming is all you hear. It drills into your skull slowly, like a worm moving through rich soil. It burrows into your brain like a bear readying itself for hibernation and makes a nest there among your synapses like a bird ready to lay.


The men are yelling at each other, wearing their emotions like armor, swinging their rage like swords.


The MC is confused. She gasps in horror as her gladiators’ battle each other in an arena made out of her heart, with an audience made of her feels.


A winner emerges. He’s the one you never guessed but always hoped for. The one you thought a monster. But wait, what is this? The horrible things, the inexcusable things he did…were all misconceptions. The explanations for his actions sit inside a paper box. When you lift the lid, what falls out? The interesting character you thought you knew is gone, his face dashed away by the pounding of waves upon a rocky coast. Seeing what emerges is like living in a house full of furniture that isn’t actually there. You think you’ll bump into an edge, trip over a rug, but in the end, there’s nothing. It’s just perfect, empty space.

And the one you thought kind? The one you thought you knew? His gentle nature is conveniently stripped away layer by layer. The deeper you delve, the uglier it gets, until all you’re left with is regret. Regret that you thought this would be interesting, that you thought the MC might CHOOSE to love the bad guy even though he was bad.

Perfect excuses fly off of these pages like a thousand migrating monarch butterflies. They flutter past your outraged face and linger teasingly in your peripheral vision like snow falling in a forest.







Ignite Me - Tahereh Mafi

"I am an hourglass.

My seventeen years have collapsed and buried me from the inside out. My legs feel full of sand and stapled together, my mind overflowing with grains of indecision, choices unmade and impatient as time runs out of my body. The small hand of a clock taps me at one and two, three and four, whispering hello, get up, stand up, it's time to

wake up

wake up"



Well, fuck.

Darkhouse - Karina Halle


I have no idea how I feel about this so I'm just going to leave it at three stars. Do I like Perry? Not sure. I can’t tell if I think she’s a delightful misfit and a welcome change from the usual speshul snowflake, or if she’s just a petty, judgmental bitch with an infuriating lack of self-esteem. I went back and forth with her throughout the whole frigging book.

And Dex? Is he interesting and complex? Or a complete asshole? I couldn’t make heads or tails of him. And what the fuck was up with that cheesy speech about Perry during the meeting with his boss? I thought the message was fantastic but the way it was done just seemed completely out of character. And don’t get me started on his propensity for the word “retarded” and the fact that he seems to think that bulimia is something that stupid people “subscribe” to instead of a legitimate disease.

I did like the creep factor, for the most part. There was one scene there in the middle though that probably should have creeped me out more than it did. The geography of it was sort of off though, and I ended up re-reading passages because I thought I’d skipped pieces. La, la, la, I’m running down the beach. Ooh, now I’m climbing a cliff, it’s dark. Wait, where the fuck did this forest come from?

There was also some strange sentence construction, a few weird plot holes, and some editing fails. Overall, I liked this. Sort of. I think. Everyone assures me that this series gets better with each book so I’ll soldier on. But if they’re wrong…

*glares threateningly at everyone*

112 of 239

Darkhouse - Karina Halle

Thunder's mighty rumble shook the sky and the ground beneath us. We waited - spread out on the dark lawn looking toward the ocean - with bated breath for the lightning to show its face. A few seconds later (nine Mississippis to be precise) it forked aggressively from the heavy clouds down to the churning waves on the horizon."


59 of 239

Darkhouse - Karina Halle

"Now, despite my interest in the paranormal, I never watched those ghost hunting shows on TV. Ironically, I am too chickenshit and my imagination is far too powerful. One show and I would be convinced I had a ghost in my house."


Oh good, it's not just me.

*happy sigh*

Les Pensees: The Thoughts of Lucienne Hollard McKay - Lucienne Hollard and Polk,  Lilian Graham (tr) McKay
I would never claim to be an authority on poetry. Perhaps I’m too fickle, but I’m just not blown away when someone can string words together in rhyme. Any child can do that. What does blow me away is when someone is capable of evoking strong emotion within me with just a few simple lines. That doesn’t happen very often. 

It happened the entire time I was reading this. 

This collection of poems and stories seemed to bring ALL the feels out. Just perusing the author’s bio was enough to awe me. Lucienne Hollard was born and raised in France. She was the sole member of her family to survive the bombs the Nazi’s dropped on her home. She went on to work for the French Underground, and while in Paris she met and fell in love with an American soldier beneath the Arc de Triomphe. I mean, come ON. Epic love story is epic, right? 

They married in 1946 and she left France to join her husband in America. The poems and reflections in this book were originally written in French and have been taken straight from her journals. They weren’t written with an audience in mind and it makes them that much more personal, that much more honest. 

I felt like I was in a fairy tale while reading some. During others, I could feel Lucienne’s longing for her homeland. The love she felt for her husband was visceral. Her musings on life hit incredibly close to home. I just…GAH! 

Even if you’re not a fan of poetry I would suggest you read this. I doubt anyone could pick it up and not feel something. Not feel their heart beating in their chest, not feel melancholy, not feel joy. 

In closing I’m going to share with you one of my favorite passages and perhaps you’ll see what I’m talking about. I say ONE of my favorites because it’s impossible to choose a single one that stood above the others. They were all that good. 

The Prisoner

A ray of sunlight penetrates my cell. 
With compassion it tries to come
And warm me where I lie; 
But it fails to reach me. 
Darkness again creeps over my cell, 
And I am alone with my dark thoughts. 

Of what can a prisoner think? 
If I dream of happy days
Perhaps my time will seem less long…

Again I see the valley where I passed my childhood-
The flowering meadow where the birds sing from pulsing throats…
Sunday morning of Easter…Again I hear the sound of the little church’s bell…
Again I see myself in my big blue hat gay with cherries,
Running through the valley singing joyously…
I was free as a bird! 

I remember…One day when my mother and I were visiting a friend…
She had a pretty bird shut up in a cage.
This was the first time I had ever seen a bird in prison.
Looking at it with pity, and not stopping to think
I opened that little cell! 
In the excitement of their conversation
My mother and her friend did not see that the door was opened
Or that the little bird was out in the flowering meadow
Singing liberty!


Cruel Beauty - Rosamund Hodge
Goddamn it. I wanted to like this one. Hell, I expected to like this one. Sadly, I did not like this one. I almost don’t even have the energy to review it because I’m just so fucking disappointed that I want to forget about it and pretend it never happened. 

So here you go. One lazy ass review:

Nyx is a sacrifice. Her asshole of a father made a deal with a demon to beget children on her mother. Like every other deal EVER made with a bad guy, it blows up in his face. His wife suffers the consequences. His eldest daughter suffers the consequences. He goes on his happy asshole way and starts boinking his dead wife’s sister.

Nyx is forced to marry the bad guy while her younger sister gets to bask in the love and affection of their parental units. It’s okay, Nyx doesn’t need their love. Her righteous fury sustains her. She’s going to end her husband and his cruel reign over her kingdom! But then she meets him. And then she meets the enslaved shadow of said bad guy. 

Enter double insta-love and a love triangle. Enter one fickle fucking MC. She loves one. No wait, she doesn’t. She loves the other. Oops, I mean the first guy is really bad so she doesn’t love him. Er, I mean the SECOND one is bad so she doesn’t love him. She loves them both. *kissy faces* One betrays her. She DEFINITELY loves the other. Enter selfish bliss. 

She hates her family. She loves her family. But she really hates her family. I mean she WANTS to love them. But doesn’t. Or does she? She’s going to betray them all. But then she visits her asshole little sister. No, no, she’s going to betray her twu wuv now. She definitely loves him though. Or was it the other? 


Oh and some other stuff happened too. Sort of. 

The drama, it killed me. The ending, is a HEA. I didn’t give a shit by that point. 



21 of 239

Darkhouse - Karina Halle

"Going with the territory, I also started cutting myself on my arms for attention..."

This does not amuse me. At all.


Unchained  - J. Lynn


Can't. Poorly edited, if at all, the MC was utterly unlikeable, and the male lead was a creepy, rapey, douchenozzle.


Unchained  - J. Lynn

Goddamn it. I just wanted to turn my brain off for five fucking minutes. Is that so much to ask? Instead I get a creepy, rapey male lead. This MC has told him "no", "let me go", "stop touching me", etc, 20 FUCKING TIMES. Number of times he's done what she asked: 0. FML.

I made my own rage memes

Iced - Karen Marie Moning

















How I felt about Ryo before reading this:

How I feel about Ryo now:

How I felt about Christian before reading this:

How I feel about Christian now:

I knew about the pedos going into this. It did not prepare me for the pedos in this. These are not alpha males. These are a bunch of creepy, rapey sociopaths. Their thoughts and insinuations towards the FOURTEEN YEAR OLD female lead were disgusting. Their words and actions towards the FOURTEEN YEAR OLD female lead were deplorable.

And you know what really made me ragey? That I saw it. But Dani didn’t. This is a young woman raised on violence and bred by monsters. She hasn’t experienced enough human emotion to fully comprehend it. And because she’s still a child in so many ways, she doesn’t even understand what these degenerates are doing to her.

We learned in the first five books of this series that Dani is transparent. We know that she uses her bravado like a shield. But the people that surround her are master manipulators. They see through her faulty disguise to the scared, lonely girl beneath. And they exploit the shit out of her.

They use her loneliness against her. They try to make her feel needed, wanted, when really all they’re trying to do is control her. They talk dirty to her because they know that she so badly wants to be an adult, and adults have sex and talk dirty to each other all the time, right? In her mind, yes. Which they know. And use against her. Like everything else.

When Dani realizes she’s being exploited and refuses to go along with their bullshit, they force her. They physically manhandle her into doing things, they mindfuck her into them, or they use her weaknesses against her and manipulate her into the same. And they lie to her about it. They make it seem like its Dani’s fault that they have to do these things to her.

“I won’t ever hurt you unless you make me, Dani.”

“Control your temper or you’ll kill her. You. We’re merely the weapon by which she’ll die.”

These are just a few examples. They do it to her constantly. So fuck you, Ryo, you abusive asshole. Way to completely victimize a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD. You’re such a big bad man.

The fact that this asshole is ALWAYS the one with the power was just the icing on the cake. Dani makes ALL the concessions. Instead of offering to help her do something, Ryo forces her to ask him. AND THEN WHEN SHE DOES, HE DOESN’T HELP HER. Instead of giving Dani a choice, he bullies her into things. Every interaction between them drove me bugfuck. I will never enjoy reading about someone breaking another person. And that’s really what this was.

And before someone tries to tell me that there was a reason, that it was necessary because of things, lemme just call bullshit. Mac never had to break Dani. Mac was kind to her, built her up while teaching her lessons. And she got much better results than this mother fucker.

It wasn’t all bad. I liked the plot. I liked the mystery and the action and the world. And I liked Dani. Even with the fecks and the dudes and the exclamation points. Even with the swagger and the conceit. I like her because I get her. I understand what makes her tick now, whereas in Fever she was just an annoying little shit. I especially liked how much she grew as a character from the beginning of this book to the end of it.

If it hadn’t been for all the whatthefuckpedophilia and how much I hate Ryo and Christian even aside from that, I think I would have given this four stars. But because of it, I can’t. BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING EVERYWHERE. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT SHIT WOULD CALM DOWN, SOMETHING FUCKING OOGY WOULD HAPPEN.

Disappointment. I haz one.

A huge disappointment

Fire & Flood - Victoria Scott

*minor spoilers below*

Brief summary:

Tella receives a cryptic message telling her that she’s been entered into a race that could save her sick brother’s life. The message could very well be from a serial killer but she buys it hook, line, and sinker. She doesn’t tell her family what she’s doing and drives off in search of the first clue in the middle of the night, without so much as leaving them a note. 

Luckily, the race is a real thing. And from the second it begins she demonstrates that she shouldn’t be taking part in it. Luckily again, the contestants all get a guardian during the competition. They’re mutant animals with special abilities that hatch out of eggs and are called Pandoras. I’m of the mind that the sole purpose of their inclusion in this story was because without them, the MC would have died within a day or two. 

Ways in which this is similar to The Hunger Games:
- The MC joins an event to save her sibling.
- The event is basically revenge for past grievances. 
- A train takes her to the starting point.
- A woman in loud, colorful clothing, who is associated with the “authority”, is there to assist her.
- MC wears a pin.
- She wears the clothing that they provide her. 
- She has a helper (the Pandora) that’s her sole point of aid during the race.
- She’s dropped into the middle of nowhere with other competitors.
- Deaths of the competitors are announced to the survivors.
- They have to fight their way to the finish line. 

Ways in which this is dissimilar to The Hunger Games:
- The MC is the opposite of a survivor. She’s a dier. At least she would be if there was any sort of justice in this book. 
- The people involved in the event don’t have to kill each other. 
- They’re not being spied on or sabotaged 24/7. 

The Good:
- This is a pretty quick read. 
- The MC’s self-deprecating sense of humor actually made me laugh out loud at some points. 
- Her Pandora was adorable. 

The Bad:

WORLD BUILDING. There is none. You have no idea when the book begins how advanced civilization is. You have no idea when the book ends how advanced civilization is. Does this take place today? 300 years in the future? Sorry, can’t answer that for you. 

When you realize that humans are capable of creating mutant creatures that spawn out of eggs and possess all sorts of special abilities, like healing poison, breathing fire and sprouting needles all over their body, you lean towards “future”, right? Yeah, so did I. But other than some vague medical stuff there are NO other advances listed. Anywhere. 

Also, everyone in the race is competing for medicine that will cure any illness. But besides that, what’s the point? The public doesn’t even know about the race. Why was it created? When? Who’s running it? How are they paying for it all? How do they know the things they do about what’s happening when there’s no mention of surveillance? How do they know when people die? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE DYING? AND WHY DOESN’T THE MC QUESTION ANY OF THIS? 

The few explanations you’re given, will probably piss you off and leave you with more questions than answers. 

The MC. Fak. I don’t even know where to begin with her. Imagine the ONE person that has no business being in a survival situation and you’ll wind up with Tella. Vanity is her hubris. She thinks about how ugly she must look with mud on her face more than she does about the fact that she’s there to save her brother’s life. 

The biggest way that this book differs from The Hunger Gamesis that Tella is the complete opposite of Katniss in every way imaginable. She has zero survival skills. None. But that’s okay because she has her Pandora, Madox. 

She desperately wants to be around other people. Not only because it’ll increase her chances of survival but because she’s ronery. She also desperately wants to be accepted. And she hates other girls on sight if they’re prettier than her. Have I mentioned how much I loathe this theme? I LOATHE THIS THEME. 

Speaking of appearances, she’s obsessed with them, namely her own. She’s fighting for her very survival but damn it, she wishes she were prettier while doing it! I quickly got fed up with how focused she was on her looks. Who the fuck cares? Your brother is DYING, how bout you focus on the task at hand? 

She’s also different than Katniss in that she has zero fucking direction and no assertiveness. When she goes to pick her Pandora egg, she hesitates. She’s standing in the room, all alone, with eggs surrounding her, but instead of choosing one and moving the fuck on, she stares at the pretty colors for a while. Then a swarm of other competitors rush in and start snatching eggs and dashing off to get to the next location. Which is what anyone that belongs in this competition would do. Tella hesitates some more and all the eggs are gone. She cries. 

The Love Interest. Oh but wait, who’s that super-hot dude in the doorway? I’ll tell you who he is. He’s, Guy, her fucking white knight. The dude is the ultimate competitor. If anyone should win the race, it’s him. But for whatever reason, instead of moving on to the next clue, he’d rather help out Tella by letting her know there’s another egg in the room that no one but him noticed.

And that pretty much makes up the rest of the story. Tella proves how worthless she is at this competition and Guy saves her. I have no idea what he sees in her. Oh and in case you think that his badassery might make this book worth a read, think again. He’s nothing but an archetype. And his specialty is being the ragebeast. If anything threatens his little lady, he rides in on his steed and declares

He’s from Detroit, by the way. Yet when they’re dropped into their first zone, a jungle in Africa, he somehow knows every single fucking thing about it. He knows which fruits are safe to eat, which plants cure poison, which plants ARE poisonous, which plants slow bleeding, etc, etc, etc. HOW DOES HE KNOW THESE THINGS?! WHY DOESN’T TELLA QUESTION HOW HE KNOWS THESE THINGS?! Like many things in this book, it’s not explained. 

The Side Characters. They have very little depth. The bad guy is bad. He wants to rape everything with tits and torture everything smaller than he is. Yet for whatever fucking reason, Tella and her rag-tag crew of companions keep him around for a while. Katniss would have slit his throat in his sleep. He’s a serial killer in the making. The way that they first meet him is utterly ridiculous. He has his Pandora try to kill them all and then lies about it. They don’t question him though. They don’t question him about anything. And he and Tella’s interactions lead me to the next and probably the most controversial section of this review…

The Perpetuation of Rape Culture. Yes, I said it. This book is fucking full of it. Tella demonstrates over and over again the perfect way to be a victim. Let’s have a look at a study by the University of California on this subject. They list a set of societal rules that contribute to it:

1. When spoken to, a woman must acknowledge the other person with a gracious smile.
2. Women must answer questions asked of them.
3. Women must not bother other people or make a scene because they are uncomfortable.
4. When in trouble, it is best to defer to the protection and judgment of men.
5. Casual touching or suggestive comments in social settings are meant as a tribute to a woman’s desirability.
6. It is the natural state of affairs for men to carry the financial burden of social situations.
7. When engaged in a social encounter, it is not proper for a woman to superior in any game, sport or discussion if she wants to be accepted.
8. Women should always accept and trust the kindness of strangers if they offer help.

This is Tella. She exemplifies every fucking number on this list. Okay, maybe not six, but I bet if they got out of the race she would. She answers every question directed at her, she doesn’t make a fuss after Titus, the bad guy, sexually assaults her because she “has no idea what to do” (THIS HAPPENS MORE THAN THREE TIMES, BTW), she continuously defers to the judgment of men, sucks at the race and immediately accepts the help of strangers. Even fucking Titus. 

This chick doesn’t stand up for herself, she’s not assertive because she doesn’t want to seem “mean”, and from the onset of the race, is completely dependent on a man for her survival. 

I have no tolerance for this. If you’re going to include a strong theme like sexual assault in a young adult book, handle it with some fucking depth. Make a fucking point. Your readership is predominantly teenage girls who have been raised on Disney princesses and the constant bombardment of media messages that already perpetuate rape culture.


Have your MC break the mold. Have her flip the fuck out on the guy. Have her be very vocal about how NOT OKAY what he just did to her was. Have the other characters back her up. DO NOT PERPETUATE VICTIM SILENCING, SHAMING, AND BLAMING. 

Okay, I’ll move on from here because I’m getting ragey and the urge to go on about this for a thousand or so words is becoming really strong. 

The Race. After Tella gets her Pandora egg she has an hour to get from that location to the next one. She has no idea where that is by the way, as she’s in a strange city. So she races off immediately, right? WRONG. She sits in her car for a little while and laments about her looks, cries a bit and chops off her hair because she hates it. Oh by the way, if you have short hair, you’re ugly according to this MC. Lastly, she thinks about her family for a while. Way to NOT focus on what you’re there for.

The Jungle. The whole premise of this portion is that you follow the blue flags from the finish line to base camp. You have two weeks to do it. Guy finds the first flag, OF COURSE, and then he and Tella run into each other, OF COURSE, and then she follows him when he won’t help her. Gee, how ‘hawt’. Don’t you just want to eat him up with a spoon? 

Oh, he then leaves her to fend for herself. But don’t worry, she immediately runs into other people that will take care of her instead. They find the second flag together five days after the race starts. Then they run into Guy again, OF COURSE, and he tells them that he thinks the first flag, the one he found, was two miles away from the second. 


You’re telling me that after five days of trudging through the jungle they only manage to make it just over two fucking miles? LOOOOOOL! I can’t. I just…can’t. 

Somehow they figure out the trick with the flags even though they found the first two through sheer dumb luck. Oh and did I mention that there are hundreds of competitors? Yet OF COURSE it’s our group of speshuls that find the flags and figure the race out. And OF COURSE out of hundreds of people Tella and Guy repeatedly run into each other. FML. 

The Desert. OF COURSE they make it through the first challenge. When they reach the second, Tella prays that the survival pack she receives comes with Chanel makeup. Aaaand that’s where I started skimming. 

Once again, Guy is an expert at survival in the environment that they’ve been placed in, Tella continues to be a vacuous waste of space, more stupid interactions with Titus happen and some other shit. Sorry, I’m plum out of “care”. Oh there’s a twist in there involving the youngest member of their “crew” that’s supposed to be dramatic but was more ridiculous than anything else. And of course some stuff happens to the MC directly after this and Guy saves her some more. Yawn. 

The Romance. Is terrible. It’s also the primary focus of this entire book. 

The Climax. Is dragged out. 

The Ending. You finally get some answers. 

The Point. I don’t get it. 

The Recommendation. I would only recommend this book only to people that haven’t read The Hunger Games, know nothing about survival, don’t mind weak MCs, ragebeast love interests and shallow support characters, and who aren’t critical readers. 



107 of 323

Fire & Flood - Victoria Scott

"There is a leech on my body. 
Oh my God. Oh my friggin' God. 
Strangely, my first concern is to not let anyone else see. I just want to handle it and then have mild panic attacks for the rest of the day."


23 of 323

Fire & Flood - Victoria Scott

"I glance at the clock. It's ten at night, and my parents look like they could run a marathon. I stare at them as they stare at their books and will them to become tired. After five minutes of mental warfare, I give up. But just then my dad yawns. Victory is mine!"

This is really entertaining so far.

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