Honest book reviews. Also, snark.
They were real, and he was damned, dripping with darkness, the heavy weight of sin choking him until he thought he might die. When he felt this way - more often than not - the pain came so palatable he thought he might scoop it from his belly and smear it across a wall.
*wishes all books were written so beautifully*
3
"Cold. Foggy cold. Soaking through fabric, biting into the skin, clutching the bones until flesh crawled.
There was no moonlight, only orange, smoky lanterns, and the light made the snow glitter and turned the shadows into blood."
This. Book.
Her skeletal hand slid into his own, clammy and cold and solid. As she emerged into the wan light he saw that the flesh of her face tightened against her skull, her eyes - her eyes - wide, lidless and unblinking, goring into his heart, rooting his feet. Blood boiled from her mouth and down her chin.
8
Colorful types still haunted the midnight streets of Chalmette: well-dressed patrons returning from ‘Orleans and its more dignified delights; clusters of sailors looking for another groggery or a woman to rent; street musicians of various skill and diverse color; fading conversations in Creole and English and Spanish. Gaslights burned in globes of moist, foggy air and pedestrians wiped at their slippery faces. Rain was coming.
*happy sigh*
He stopped short.
The door was not open. It lay in pieces, metal hinges squealing on broken boards. Massive, dirty prints spotted the floor at his feet. Its elongated toes reminded him of a
timber wolf or mastiff, but such creatures did not roam the hills above Lisbon. This was an animal never classified, never catalogued, never displayed in museums to gather dust. This was a thing that should not exist.
Lycanthrope.
The musky fragrance of blood filled his nostrils. He froze.
“I can see you,” he lied.
The dark behind Herculano’s tomb took a breath.
Aaaaaand there goes all hopes of me getting a good night sleep tonight.
1
I won't be around much in the coming days/weeks. I've been bitten by the writing bug pretty hard and all my energy is going into getting this story out of my head. I'll still check in to read reviews but otherwise, I might be pretty scarce.
I had things to do this weekend, but instead I mistakenly started this series and spent four days straight sitting on my couch. Laundry? Fuck it. Pets? My fiancé can feed them. Grocery shopping? That would require me to change out of sweatpants. Cleanliness? Who cares? I’ll shower when I’m good and ready, damn it.
Up until this point I haven’t even been able to properly review these books. Well, I probably could have BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO BECAUSE THERE WERE MORE HATHAWAYS TO READ ABOUT. And then we have this book. I have to review it. It focuses on Bea, the youngest, most eccentric, and by far my favorite Hathaway.
Bea is an animal lover (like myself), she rescues creatures big and small and brings them to the dinner table (like myself). Everyone around her puts up with it because she doesn’t give them a choice (like myself). She’s also the youngest of five children (like myself), and she’s not afraid to speak her mind and challenge social conventions (like myself).
IT’S LIKE I HAVE MY VERY OWN HR!
Bea’s best friend Prudence is a thundercunt. And so when the young man she was flirting with departs for the Crimean war, she moves on. Because she’s a thundercunt. When he writes her a letter from the front lines, clearly shell shocked and in need of some normalcy, she decides not to write back, because who wants to read about someone complaining about losing their best friend? Or being penned in by enemy soldiers and barely escaping? Also, she’s a thundercunt.
She gives Bea the letter to read. Bea, who is the opposite of Prudence in every way imaginable, decides that it can’t go unanswered. She writes Captain Christopher Phelan back in Pru’s stead, pretending to be her. So begins two years of correspondence. Bea becomes his lifeline, his guiding star, his reason to survive the hell he’s living in.
And hell it is. I loved that Kleypas didn’t sugar coat the Crimean war. You can feel Christopher’s pain, his horror, his loss of humanity. What was even more impressive is how she handled his PTSD. I have friends with combat related PTSD and I can tell how much research Kleypas put into it. Several of the scenes in this book could have been taken straight from their lives.
The Christopher sent home at the end of the war a decorated hero is a drastically different man than the one that left. His mission is to find the woman who he’s come to love, Bea, but who he thinks is Prudence, the thunder cunt. Bea knows that she should have confessed the truth to him but was too terrified of outing herself because before he left for war, Christopher didn’t like her. Prudence, the thundercunt, is fine with keeping up the façade because the recently returned war hero is now a national treasure, he’s set to inherit a fortune, she might even get to dine at Buckingham palace if they marry! I hate her.
This is where everything could have gone to hell. Kleypas could have dragged out the pseudo-love triangle. BUT SHE DIDN’T! This book isn’t made up of that type of petty drama. This book is made up of two people that love each other, trying to make it work when one of them is just a shell of their former self. It’s a story about recovery, self-discovery, acceptance, and above all, LOVE.
YOU SHOULD READ IT BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING AWESOME.
This book is decent. But it’s not great. Don’t get me wrong, I think a lot of people will enjoy it. Hell, I enjoyed most of it. It just didn’t blow my mind. I do see potential in the series so I plan on continuing with it, but…
Meh.
I just wanted more. The mythology was handled well but it focused on gods that I’ve never really given that many fucks about. Athena? Hermes? Really? Where’s that warmongering bastard Ares? If the gods are fighting for their lives I’d think he’d be the one leading them into that final battle against death. And speaking of death, where’s my favorite god of them all? 
The gods that were depicted were just as complicated as I’d hoped they would be, but because they’re not exactly relatable as characters, it left me feeling detached from them and their storylines. This story does contain a pretty neat twist on the idea of gods still walking among us but it’s not exactly original. In fact, it reminded me a lot of American Gods, which I enjoyed much better than this.
I guess that my biggest complaint is that this entire book felt like a set up for the rest of the series. There was so much time spent on relating the character’s histories that not much really happened until the climax. Speaking of which, it was drawn out, and filled with TSTL moments from both mortals and gods alike. There were also some plot holes within it but I’m not going to bring them up as they’d all be spoilers and I just don’t really have the energy.
Bottom line is that I still think this series is worth giving a try if you have an interest in Greek mythology in YA stories.
I hope you all understand what you're subjecting yourself to...
Let’s make one thing clear; this book is an HR duck. It looks like one, it talks like one, it walks like one. Is it formulaic? Probably. Should I have enjoyed it as much as I did? Probably not. Am I giving it five stars anyway? Absolutely. Why? Because fuck you, that’s why.
I should start posting disclaimers at the top of my reviews for HRs saying that my opinion probably shouldn’t be trusted.
For those of you who know me, you know how many literary pet peeves I have. For those of you who don’t; I have a lot of literary pet peeves. Too many of them in one book and I’ll start docking stars.
EXCEPT FOR IN HISTORICAL ROMANCES.
I’m a little embarrassed to say that I actually…look forward to overused themes and tropes in HRs. If they’re not present, I’m usually disappointed. Most of the time they don’t even have to be well written and I’ll still enjoy the hell out of them. What can I say? It’s my guilty pleasure genre.
Well, this book IS well written. It’s also well researched. I’m a history geek so I’m always happy when an author sneaks in some real facts about the time period and setting. Kleypas included quite a few without overcomplicating the story.
The plot is a popular one in this genre. The female lead, Poppy, gets trapped into marrying the devilish Harry Rutledge after being caught in a compromising position with him.
Other well executed tropes include the “I’m so damaged, no one will love me” male lead, the Mary Sue female lead who’s different than her peers because she’s intelligent and not afraid to own it, the meddling family, the silly misunderstandings, the witty banter, the HEA, the list goes on and on.
And you know what? I enjoyed every damn minute of it. If you’re a Historical Romance fangirl, you should give this a try. Or if you’re just in the mood for something fun and entertaining, you should do the same.
"There's nobbut t' missis; and shoo'll not oppen 't an ye mak' yer flaysome dins till neeght."
Help! I need an adult!
I feel like it’s one step forward and two steps back with this series. I didn’t like the first, really enjoyed the second, and was pissed off for the entire first half of this one. My main gripe is with Perry. I thought she’d calmed down with the self-hatred because it was blessedly absent in the last installment. Not so much in this one.
The kicker is finding out that it’s just a trope after all. You know, the one where the MC thinks she’s hideous when really she’s gawg? Yeah, that one.
“I knew I wasn’t as bad as my ego wanted me to believe. When I called myself fat, I knew I wasn’t actually fat anymore (though I definitely was back in the day), I just knew I was miles from perfect. And if I wasn’t perfect, like Jenn, like these girls stripping, like the women on TV, then what was the point? I might as well give up.”
I don’t know what’s worse, that she’s completely brainwashed by society, that she thinks she should give up because she’s not “perfect”, or that she recognizes how fucked up her total lack of self-esteem is and does NOTHING to fix it.
And then we have an outsider’s opinion of her:
“Honestly kiddo? You’re beautiful. You use your weight as an excuse but you’re just all woman. Not every woman has to look like a stripper. Or a model. Or Megan Fox. You’re petite, have a tiny waist, a fantastic rack, a devastating ass…what the hell more do you want?”
Aaaaaand this is the point where I lose all patience with Perry. You’re telling me that I’ve had to listen to you bitch and moan about your appearance for three books and you’re actually fucking gorgeous? Oh and you’re going to CONTINUE to bitch and moan?
Wonderful.
Every time after this that she brought up her weight, that she brought up her looks, that she obsessed about what people were saying about her on the blog for their internet show, my eyes rolled. It happened enough that I’m lucky they’re still in my head.
There were other aspects that kept this from getting a higher rating from me, namely Dex’s skeeziness, him and Perry’s weird relationship angst, and their utter lack of survival instincts. I really don’t have the energy to bitch about them all. FFS, the book doesn’t even get going until over half way in.
But man was it a creepfest from that point forward. For this reason alone I’m giving the book three stars. Bottom line? I would have preferred more scares and less personal drama.
4
