The Distance Between Us

The Distance Between Us - Kasie West
Professional Reporter : This book review was recorded for by myself at the request of Litchick. I survived the ordeal…

PR: Thank you very much for allowing me to…what the hell are you wearing?

LC: I came in costume.

PR: Dressed as what? It looks like the 70s threw up on you.

LC: Elton John. 

PR: You came to an interview for a book review that yourequested dressed as-. You know what, why don’t we just get this over with? 

LC: *hums the opening bars to Rocket Man*

PR: What made you want to pick up The Distance Between Usinstead of one of the 80 ARCs that you probably should have read instead? *mutters* if you were a responsible adult…

LC: I blame Komal and Cecile

PR: So, it’s not your fault? 

LC: Nope! I had no choice. 

PR: *mutters* of course not…

LC: Plus, have you seen this cover? Look at it. Look. At. It.

PR: Yes. I see that. Did you really need to just hit me in the face with the book though? 

LC: *whispers* It’s okay precious, the mean man doesn’t understand. What’s that? No, I’d never let him take you away from mommy. 

PR: Are you on drugs right now? 

LC: What? No. Why would you ask that?

PR: *mutters* no reason…

LC: Do you have some sort of speech impediment? 

PR: No I don’t have- *takes deep breath* This is getting off topic, why don’t you tell me what you expected going into this book. 

LC: Words

PR: *grinds teeth* I meant how did you feel? Were you nervous because in the past you haven’t had the best track record with books that everyone else loved? 

LC: That’s such a strange turn of phrase; track record. 

PR: Just answer the goddamn question! 

LC: Wow, someone’s manstrating. Jeez, yes, I was nervous. 

PR: And after reading the book? 

LC: Why would I still be nervous? I’ve read it. 

PR: *bites out* What were your feelings upon completion of the book? 

LC: Oh, happy ones. 

PR: Care to elaborate?

LC: Well, I suppose there’s a lyric that can best sum up how I felt. Ahem! “It was Saturday late, have you seen my mates, can you tell me when the boys get here? Well, it's seven o'clock and I want to rock and get a belly full of beer.”

PR: Really? Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting? 

LC: Hey! You’ve heard of it! One of my best if I do say so my-

PR: That’s it! *spikes pen*

LC: What are you-

PR: *throws chair*

LC: Hey, where are you-

PR: Fuck this shit, I quit!

LC: What the hell was that guy’s problem?