Badass Fail

Throne of Glass - Sarah J. Maas
What I was expecting: 

What I got:

Assassin fail. Annoying heroine win. Maybe I could buy this chick as a badass had she not been:

- Annoying 
- Immature
- Pety
- Vindictive
- Judgemental
- Unintelligent 
- Emotionally unstable
- Obsessed with her looks
- Obsessed with appearances
- Ruled by her hubris
- In love with exclamation points!!!!!!!!
- An open book, expression wise
- About as subtle as a rhinoceros
- Incapable of hitting a slow moving target with a flower pot

This might just be a case of “It’s not you, it’s me”. You see, I’ve read quite a few high fantasy books with legitimate badass assassins. Ones that are so creepy, so deviously manipulative and intelligent that they make this chick look like a vacuous nitwit in comparison. Maybe my expectations were too high. Then again…maybe not. 

So, this Celaena chick was apparently the realm’s most feared and reviled assassin at the ripe old age of seventeen. She ends up getting caught though, and enslaved. A year later she’s pulled from the salt mines by the crowned prince and put into a competition to determine the most badass of the badass. She's been doing nothing but hauling salt for a year so you think that she’d be busting her butt to get prepared for this assassin competition that she knows nothing about, right? Maybe practice her aim, do some push-ups or sit-ups, stretch, meditate, etc? 


Instead, she wanders her rooms, admires her pretty dress in the mirror, contemplates playing the piano, daydreams about the library she just visited and then finally, she sends the crown prince a letter begging for something to read. Yup, she spends the night before a competition that could free her if she wins, or send her back to slavery and death if she loses, READING. 

FYI, I made it a hundred and fifty pages and these are only the beginning of my complaints. So I’m sorry, I can’t with this fucking idiot. I’ve heard that the second book is much better so maybe I’ll come back to this when I have more patience. But for now: DNF